Answers – Part 3
I had so much to say in answer to the following question that I thought I’d tackle it in two separate posts. Today I’m answering the part in bold.
Q:How in the world do you actually find time to educate your children,take care of your household duties, and find the energy necessary to do all those cool crafty projects you always show us? All of that, and still manage to keep your sunny personality and your faith so strong! I wish I just had an ounce of that!
Sunny personality? Well, I don’t know about that. I’m actually quite the pessimist. I’m the quintessential Eeyore. But a long time ago I learned a good lesson. Philip was off fighting in Desert Storm and we weren’t married yet. I was living alone in San Francisco, going to school and working part time. It was one of the most difficult times of my life. I realized then that I had two choices everyday – sit home, watch the news and cry or get up, go to school, go to work and survive. I had to make that choice every day. Oh, I allowed myself to cry when I needed to, and be scared and angry and all that. But every day I just put one foot forward and started moving. Sometimes life is like that. You either let it kill you or you survive. You can’t control what happens to you but you can control how you react to it.
As for faith – it’s simple really. I must have faith or I won’t survive. I would just quit right now, crawl into a hole and die. I MUST believe that Rebecca is waiting for us in heaven or I couldn’t get up in the morning. I MUST believe that God loves her more than I ever could and that he will use her life and death for good. I know absolutely the reason she had to die. I don’t know why she left so young, but I know who to blame that we are all mortal.  I know what I must do to see our family reunited. I know it’s going to be better than I could ever imagine. I’m glad she “brought her baptismal gown unstained into the next life.” I have faith and so I have hope. I don’t know how people without faith can survive the death of a loved one, I really don’t. I have no explanations for matters of faith, I leave that for others.  I found this quotation by Albert Camus be so appropriate:
“I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn’t, than live my life as if there isn’t and die to find out there is.â€
Well said and very insightful. I use your example many times in my daily life, and just felt you should know that I look at you as one of my heroes. God Bless you and your beautiful family.