Archive - February 2008

Just Because
She’s Right, You Know
Dancing with Machetes
And Then There Were 5
Reinventing Ourselves
More Fun With Google Search
Not The Same Thing
Pumpkin Bars
Don’t Look Back
Crime and Punishment

Just Because

I have nothing exciting to post.  We didn’t “celebrate” Leap Day or do anything worth blogging about.  I did have a moment of inappropriate hilarity today at the Stations of the Cross as we started singing “At the Cross Her Station Keeping.”  I was thinking of what Pumpkin Girl said and what I wrote and then “Bohemian Rhapsody” started playing in my head. I choked back a giggle and gave myself a stern look and focused harder.

Honestly, sometimes I’m no better than a kid.  Maybe it was the smell of the carbohydrate heaven soup supper waiting for us in the activity room.

Mostly, though, I wanted to post something on this date since I won’t have a chance for another 4 years.  At that time Bip will be 6, Pumpkin Girl will be 11 and Boo will be 13 – and let’s not even go there.

Dancing with Machetes

So they’ve been at this ballet folklorico thing for a few months. The whole reason Boo agreed to try dance classes was because he remembered seeing a folklorico machete dance. He thought would be pretty OK. So he patiently waited to learn a machete dance. I told him that he should ask his teacher. But at the end of September, he came home all smiles, telling me how the new dance they are learning has…machetes! I don’t care what the experts might say, but there is something on the boy DNA that attracts them to weapons – and showing off their weapons. Because the story behind the machete dance is basically that the men working in the sugar cane fields are showing off their machete skills for the pretty senoritas.

And just for fun, here’s a folklorico dance with the machetes. Boo is a beginner, of course, so he doesn’t have all the fancy moves, just hitting them under and over his legs. He says dancing with machetes is pretty easy, “Just swish them around and try not to cut off your ear.” Good advice, Boo.

But that was before he whacked his sister in the ear while practicing.

(Be sure to watch the video through to the end, when the men pull their head bands over their eyes)

Reinventing Ourselves

In less than two years, my husband will probably retire from the Army. He’s not actually retirement age, the way that civilians count it. But he entered the active duty Army almost 20 years ago, right out of college, which means that he will soon be eligible for all the retirement benefits.

He didn’t mean for this Army thing to be a career. He had to pay off his ROTC “debt” with 2 years of service, then he was going to get out and go to law school, become a high powered attorney and make lots of money to set me up in a lifestyle to which I could easily become accustomed. But he kept attending exciting Army courses like Airborne School and Combined Armed Services Staff School, and in return for all those fun and games, he owed the Army more time in service. The next thing we knew, he’d been in for about 6 years and they were offering him a company command. Then 6 years turned in to 10 and if you stay in for 10, you might as well do 10 more and get those retirement benefits.

So here we are.

He could stay in past 20 of course, but we both feel like the Lord is leading us down a different path.

It’s hard to think about, living life as a civilian. I hear that y’all don’t have “To the Colors” and the National Anthem play at 5 o’clock all across your city. Children at play don’t know to stop what they’re doing, face the music and put their hand over their hearts.  And they tell me that your stores don’t have parking spaces marked “General” and “Colonel”, nor do military personnel in uniform have priority at the grocery store during duty hours.

Hmm.  And what exactly do you call where you live, if it’s not a housing area?  And how do you remember which identical house is yours if your husband’s name and rank isn’t tacked near the front door?

And when you go to the movies, nobody stands when the National Anthem is played right before the movie…because they don’t play the National Anthem!


I’m not sure how we’re going to adjust to life in the civilian arena.   I guess we’ll find out sooner or later.

More Fun With Google Search

These are some of the recent Google searches that have led people to my little ol’ blog.  In the interest of making my blog a warm and inviting place to be, I have tried to supply the information that people were looking for.

1. How do pirates celebrate Christmas?
willturner.jpg Well, since most pirates bore little resemblance to Captain Jack and Will Turner, (either in looks or behavior) I would guess that pirates didn’t do much to celebrate the birth of Jesus. However, Boo says that pirates celebrate Christmas by drinking eggnog – glug, glug, glug!

Yeah, and like I need an excuse to put this picture on my blog!

2. My house is always trashed.
Sorry, you’re on your own here.

3.  itunes I’m getting married to lorri
I swear that was really a search. Even spelled my name right. I have no idea what it means though.  Unless my husband has secret career in song writing.

4. What happens if my vistaprint order is late?
I’m guessing that it won’t arrive on time?

5. Where does Mac and Cheese come from?

6. Does mac and cheese go bad?
This is the number one search phrase for my blog. The answer is yes. No matter how hard we try, mac and cheese will sometimes go bad.  Why?  Poor parenting, falling in with the wrong crowd, we may never know.

7. Songs about Lorri
Another one? What is this all about? Really, I must know.

8. Mac and cheese poems
Honestly, this is getting silly. I’ve gotten this search a couple of times, but I’m afraid that whoever is looking has been disappointed. So to remedy that, I have composed a little something I called “Ode to the Mac and Cheese”


Mac and Cheese
We love to eat it
When we cook
We don’t have to beat it

Creamy cheese
and pasta, too
Sad to say,
One serving won’t do

Oh warm and comforting Mac and Cheese
Why can’t you have low calories?

9.  How to dress up Mac and Cheese
Don’t bother.  You can dress it up, but you can’t take it out.

Not The Same Thing

Dear Online Scrapbook Company,

Thank you for your quick response to my inquiry.  As I stated, on your order form, you do not have an option for Washington, DC which means that I cannot order from your company.  Directing me to look for “Washington State” on the list and telling me that I should “have no problem finding it” was not exactly the help I was looking for.

This would be wonderful and accurate advice if I actually lived in Washington State.  Again, I live in Washington, DC.  You know, our nation’s Capital.  While similar in name, the two are in fact, different and are several thousand miles apart.  I need you to list DC or District of Columbia on your list.  If I was to choose Washington, my package would probably be lost.

Because you have chosen not to address my actual problem, I will be spending my money elsewhere.

Thank you,

Lorri in Washington, DC

Pumpkin Bars

These pumpkin bars are quite yummy and as an added benefit, they are made with Fiber One cereal.  They are perfect for getting things moving post-partum, if you know what I mean.  I also like to make them when someone gets stuck and needs a little help in that area.

Pumpkin Bars

1 1/2 cups Fiber One Ceral
2 cups sugar
2/3 cup vegetable oil
1 can (15 oz)  pumpkin (2 cups)
4 eggs
1 1/2 cups flour
2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 cup raisins or chopped nuts

Heat oven to 350 degrees.  Grease and flour jelly roll pan (I just use a 13×9 pan).  Crush cereal. Stir together ceral, sugar, oil and pumpkin in large bowl; let stand 10 minutes.   Stir in eggs until well blended.  Stir in remaining ingredients.  Spread in pan.  Back 25 to 30 minutes or until top springs back when touched lightly.  Cool completely.  Sprinkle with powdered sugar, if desired.  Cut into 7 by 7 rows.  Refrigerate any remaining bars.

Don’t Look Back

The weather has gone from freakishly warm to freakishly cold in just one week.  One week ago today, the weather was so nice that most of the neighborhood children were outside, including mine.   Boo was riding around on his new camouflage bike (what else would you buy a soldier’s son?) and Pumpkin Girl decided that she was ready to try again.  Try what again, you ask?  Riding without training wheels!

cimg3214.jpgWhen I came outside with Bip, the first thing I noticed was her training wheels lying in the carport.  I walked a bit further out into the yard and I saw her riding around, Philip jogging behind her, holding the back of her seat.  I’m sure you know exactly what they looked like.  They kept going for a while, Pumpkin Girl looking so steady that I guessed that Philip probably wasn’t even holding on.  I was right.  As they did another pass around the cul-de-sac I could see that it was all her, she just didn’t know it.  I pretended not to notice.  On their next pass I heard her tell her dad that she thought she might be ready for him to let go.  He told her, “Honey, I haven’t been holding on for awhile.”  The look on her face was unforgettable.  As she did a victory lap all on her own, Boo and I and a few neighbor children gave her a round of applause.  She beamed even brighter.

Congratulations, Pumpkin Girl on reaching another milestone.  Keep on going sweetheart, and don’t look back.

Crime and Punishment

I was all set to write a post about the value of saying you’re sorry to your children when you’ve messed up.

See, yesterday Boo dashed outside after doing his chores.  He didn’t ask if he could go out and I needed him to stay in.  Then, as I passed the playroom, I saw that he did not clean it completely, the way he’s been taught.  In his rush to go out, he’d done a sloppy job.

I was tired, frustrated, in a rush and angry and I wanted him to know.  I gathered up the offending toys, took away his Game Boy and grounded him for the rest of the weekend.

Ha.  I showed him who’s boss around here.

After he’d gone to bed, I realized I was a bit harsh.  I decided to allow him to play with his friends over the weekend, but no Game Boy and no more going out after chore time.

This morning I found out from the magic of the Mom Network, that Boo and his posse had been playing War again.  It’s usually younger boys vs older boys in the neighborhood, and nothing good ever comes out of it.  Boo and his buddy next door have been told not to play anymore.

I thought something was up yesterday when the older boys were out behind our backyard with lightsabers.  But I was in a hurry and I didn’t follow up on it.  When my suspicions were confirmed during a phone call today, I knew Boo was in for it.

I asked him point blank, “Were you playing war yesterday.”  Sadly, my boy was not honest with me until I revealed that I already knew that he was because I had talked to one of the boys’ moms.

Poor kid.  I had him and he knew it.  With one poor decision, he torpedoed his whole weekend.  And now for the listing of his punishments:

georgjail.jpgFor running out after chore time without permission – staying inside after chores.  No exceptions, don’t even ask.
For  incorrectly doing his chores –  loss of the toys not put away (must earn them back) and no Game Boy for the weekend
For playing War – no playing with friends all weekend.
For lying- no playing with friends  on Monday and Tuesday, either

I could have been harder on him, but I saw true remorse.  He’s normally a very trustworthy and honest boy, so I saw no need to really land on him.  Plus, he’s very social, so even these 4 days are likely going to nearly kill him.


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