Not Ready Yet

This is a difficult week for our family. Every year I think it’ll be easier and every year it almost is. But this year, 6 now since Rebecca has been gone, the days and dates are the same. What I mean is, the 11th was on a Sunday, this year and then. The 15th is, this year and was then, a Wednesday.

I wanted to tell you Rebecca’s story this year. Whenever I read about child’s death, I want to find out what happened. Not so much morbid curiosity, but…I don’t know what really. Maybe I just need to understand. Maybe I just want to share the grief. So I wanted to share with you, and anyone coming here looking for comfort after the death of a child, just how and why Rebecca died. There are lessons to be learned, because her death was completely preventable. Except that it was her time. Sweet little baby.

But it is just too much still. Maybe another time.

This week we will just do those little every day things that need to be done and try, TRY not to think of what wasn’t done and what should have been done differently all those years ago. We will run and not grow weary, we will walk and not grow faint.

More Mac and Cheese, please!


About the author



  • I am so sorry for your pain! Right now, I am trying to help a friend in a similar situation. Her FIL passed away in a foreign country due to a condition that would have been completely treatable had he been here in the states. We will keep both you families in our prayers!

  • I’m so sorry. I can’t talk about Joshua without breaking down still…however, it is better. I too want to know what happened to other children…maybe I’m looking for a way to connect with someone? I don’t know.

  • How sweet, my veri-word is hope. Sweet for me, because Hope is the neice that my family lost. But also the reminder for how to live on, filled with hope. Hope is also what you and Phil have taught me about. Losing your baby didn’t turn you against God, rather it has filled you with hope for the day when you will be reunited. I’m always so awed by your ability to do just that. Know that I have been, and will continue to pray for all of you as you pass another year without Becca. I pray for the strength to carry on, that only God can provide.
    Wishing I was across the cul-de-sac so I could just sit, knit and sip tea with you, my friend.

Copyright © 2014. Created by Meks. Powered by WordPress.