We appear to be on the mend from the Strep Throat Affair of 2007. Pumpkin Girl is back to normal and Bip has been fever free since last night. Not that he’s sleeping better or anything. He’s mad because now that he’s feeling better, Mama’s no longer susceptible to his requests for num-nums in the middle of the night. Of course, nobody feels sorry for poor Mama who is tired out from keeping everybody’s medicine straight, dealing with a tired and crabby baby and who is, don’t forget, also sick. My throat hurt so bad in the middle of night that I was willing to risk Philip’s life and limbs to have him go buy me a cool, comforting milkshake.
This is significant, because you see, my Number One Rule for Personal Safety is this: Never go out "just to get some ice cream." In movies, on TV and in books, nothing good ever happens to the guy who was "just going out for ice cream." Think about it. The family is hanging out, enjoying the late summer evening and dad says, "Hey, how about some ice cream." The children cheer, the wife looks over at him lovingly, he grabs his keys and off he goes, about to become Father of the Year. And BAM! some crazy driver runs a red light, mowing poor dad down. Then everyone stands around at the funeral lamenting how he had been "just going out for ice cream." So that’s my rule – no going out just for ice cream. Pick up batteries or toilet paper, too while you’re out. But for goodness sakes, don’t go out just for ice cream. Milkshakes, being mostly ice cream, fall under this rule.
So that’s how badly my throat hurt. I was ready to send my beloved out for a single milkshake. However, he was spared by being downstairs with Angry Baby, hoping to get him to sleep.
I asked him what they did last night while they were downstairs.
Phil: "Well, I turned on the TV for him."
Me: "Hmm. He’s been watching a lot of TV ever since we all got sick. We really should cut back."
Phil: "Yeah, but at 3 in the morning, TV is very soothing. Scientific research says…"
Me:"Scientific research? You mean our kids. Four out of four K— kids are soothed by watching TV?"
Phil:"Exactly. Four out of four K— kids are soothed by the flickering lights."
Hmm. Just like their dad.
Meanwhile, as I mentioned, I am diligently trying to keep track of everybody’s antibiotics. To complicate matters, Boo and I have to take ours on an empty stomach. Even worse is that Boo has to take 4 doses a day. I feel like Patton, barking out orders like clockwork:
11:00 am -"Everybody line up, it’s time for our meds! Get your water! Bip! Get back here! Boo, go get your brother. Pumpkin Girl -ready? Open up! OPEN! Drink it. Good girl. Next. Bip, come on, just open. Drink it! Good boy! Boo, Boo? Stop complaining…"
12 noon: "Boo, sit down and eat. No, eat RIGHT NOW. You must eat now or you’ll miss your next antibiotics."
And around the clock we go.
My throat still requires tylenol to keep it soothed as well as 2 or 3 cups of Sleepy Time tea laced generously with honey. I’m hoping today is the last day of that.