Computers and God

Our computer has been running slow lately. So slow that when I power it up, I have time to go prepare breakfast for me and Bip before the computer’s ready to go. Forget trying to get it to print anything. I click “print” and nothing happens. I lean over and look at the printer. I click “print” again. And again, for good measure. I wiggle the mouse around and say, “Please! Hello? Print?” I click “print” again. I go over to Ask Sister Mary Martha to see if she knows who the patron saint of computers is so I can start a novena, but my computer won’t load her blog. I tell the computer it’s not just a pig, but a Big Pig, cuz you know, that helps. I get up and fill my water bottle. I return to find 3 pages waiting for me (I only wanted one) and the 4th one is printing.

Great.

I try to close the document I was working on. Nothing.

Sigh.

Rinse, lather, repeat.

So I keep telling my husband that I’m calling those computer geek guys. They make house calls,  which means they can brave the dangers of the DC Beltway instead of me. I’m all for the staying home and having people come to me. If I had a posse, cronies or peeps, they would all be wearing UPS uniforms. The only problem with this plan to get my computer fixed with little or no effort on my part is that I live in the Ultimate Gated Community – a US Military Base. You don’t get on to my base without proper ID, DNA samples, references, an on-base sponsor, 120 days notice and a note from your doctor. Which means that unless the computer geeks have their own way on to base, I’m going to have to stop what I’m doing, load up all my kiddoes and head down to the visitor’s center to sign my geek in and hope he has all the proper paperwork. Honestly, I don’t know what all those guys up at Ft Dix were doing, because there aren’t any pizza delivery guys driving around here. You want pizza delivered from off base, you go meet your pizza at the gate.

So anyway, this greatly decreases the Making My Life Easier Factor, which means I did what I do best – procrastinate.

The computer got slower.

In the meantime, I realized it’s time for the annual fun fest known as Taking the Kids to the Dentist. I needed to find a children’s dentist in the area first, of course. And everyday as the computer got slower and slower, I kept threatening to call the geek guys, even if I did have to get up and go get them. *side note- did you know that whacking the CPU doesn’t actually help the computer go faster?* Philip though, is a wise man and told me that I could call the computer geeks after I found a dentist and scheduled appointments. He’s responsible like that. Plus, he also suspected that all we needed was a new memory card. So, a dentist was located and appointments were booked, next step – a computer overhaul!

The very next morning, I open the blinds on our front window to see none other than a computer repair guy’s truck! A computer repair guy that may already have his own base access! I was so excited that I started talking in exclamation points! I wrote down his number, but as Philip was leaving for work, he was able to talk to the guy who seemed to know exactly what was wrong with our computer. Besides the fact that it is a Big Pig. And the best part is- you’re going to love this- he lives right on base!  No signing anyone in, no braving the Beltway.

Our computer went off for a day of R and R and came back a much happier computer. A healthier computer. A Oh-I’ll-be-happy-to-print-out-that-document and open-up-any-website computer!

It’s problem? Four viruses and a spyware. Yes, you read that right, 4 viruses. Yes, we had anti-virus software, but apparently it wasn’t very good. We were using Norton which we paid good money for, but now we’ve been squared away with Avast! I’d really like my money back from Norton – four viruses people! The repair guy said he was surprised our computer even booted up.

So I told you all this just to make the point that sometimes procrastination is a good thing and that when God puts a computer repair man in front of your house, it’s going to take more than a new memory card to get things moving.

More Mac and Cheese, please!

 

About the author

Lorri

2 Comments

  • I will tell you what my husband tells my folks every time they call and ask what he would recommend to help their computers run better and faster and like they are supposed to:

    Buy a Mac.

    : )

    Glad it didn’t take too long for you to get up and running again!

  • There is no antivirus program that will catch everything. People make millions thinking up viruses to take over your computer and antivirus companies are reactive. If you open an eamil or go to a site infected with the latest & greatest virus that hasn’t been reported yet, you’ll get infected. (It’s sort of like credit-card fraud. There are things you can do to minimize risk but there’s so much money to be made that nothing is foolproof.)

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