Author - Lorri

Christmas Presents

Try not to hate me, but I’m almost done Christmas shopping! I just need to make the time to go to the PX without my son and pick up one last thing and I’m done.

A few years ago we ended up wallowing in Christmas Gift Excess. My feelings were a little hurt as my young children bounced from gift to gift saying, “What’s next?” without giving their gifts more than a passing glance. These were gifts that I had thoughtfully and joyfully bought for them and they just didn’t seem to appreciate the effort. Granted, they were very little, but I realized that year that we were starting down a dangerous path.

The next year we cut back dramatically. Our children each received 3 gifts, just like baby Jesus. Santa brought them one particularly large gift that was to be shared by the whole family. I filled their stockings with little trinkets. I explained the situation to my parents and asked that instead of many small gifts for each child, that they buy fewer but more meaningful gifts. They happily complied.

I have to admit, that on paper, our first scaled back Christmas looked great. But then I saw what my friends with similar aged children were buying. Their lists were 15 to 20 items long, for each child. I wavered in my enthusiasm as I wondered if I were setting my children up for a life of crime due to Christmas neglect. I stood my ground. Christmas is not about getting gifts, after all. My resolve was strengthened after reading the Christmas chapters in the Little House on the Prairie books. Laura and Mary were overwhelmed at receiving a tin cup, an orange and a penny in their Christmas stockings. They grew up just fine and so would my children.

Christmas Eve came around and Philip and I worked quickly to set the gifts out under the tree. (Well, I wasn’t all that quick because our baby Rebecca had been born just 2 days before!) Between the gifts we bought for the children, plus the gifts from grandparents, godparents, aunts and other family, the presents were still spilling out all over. The next morning was the usual Christmas Morning Chaos. But it was just the right amount. Boo and Pumpkin Girl were thrilled at their presents and didn’t even notice they had gotten significantly less than the year before. I think we really found a good balance.

One thing that I have noticed over the years is that the stocking stuffers never get played with. They get left in the stockings until the decorations are put away and then a few months later when we’re purging the toys, they get put into the give away pile. This year in their stockings, they’ll each get a video they’ve been asking for and a little candy. I’ve also put a new spin on a tradition from my dad’s childhood. He always had an orange in the toe of his stocking. To put a modern spin on this tradition, I now put a chocolate orange in the children’s stockings.

Limiting the number of Christmas presents has been a real blessing to us over the years. As the primary gift buyer, I am challenged to choose the very best gifts that I think they will enjoy most of all. No buying something just to buy it. Our playroom is overflowing as it is, so we aren’t adding a ton of new toys. The children genuinely like and play with the toys I’ve chosen for them. And most importantly – and let’s not forget this – I can be done Christmas shopping in mid October!

Siblings

This is what happens when your little brother gets into your toys too many times:

Pumpkin Girl made this “No Babees” sign and taped it to the door when she was playing with my mom. She said, “No matter how much I love him (Bip), he always messes up things.” I don’t know what made me laugh more, the way she spelled “babees”, the cute little picture with the line through it, or her thought that the sign would keep Bip out. She sure is resourceful and creative for a 5 year old.

 

 

Friends

As a true child of the 80’s, I have some really good friends that I met over the internet. A group of us met on a board while we were pregnant with our babies due in January 2001. There’s about 10 of us left who still post with regularity. We’ve shared all the details of our lives, painful and joyful and everything in between. Two of my internet friends even came from the East Coast to California for Rebecca’s funeral.

So when I got an invitation to a surprise party for one of them, I knew I had to go. Jen lives about 4 hours away from me, a long drive, but definitely within range. Another friend, Carol, lives near Philadelphia and we planned to drive to her house and visit for the afternoon. Then we’d caravan up to Jen’s party. Sounds like a good plan, right?

All was well for our trip to New Jersey to rendezvous with Carol. No offense here, but as we crested the bridge from Delaware and NJ came into view, I was completely underwhelmed. NJ looks exactly the way I always pictured it. It put all those Bruce Springsteen songs into perspective. No wonder he was always singing about being restless and wanting to get out. But a few miles down the road and off the main highway, things looked better. Carol lives in a cute little town with lots of big, old houses. I called Carol on my cell phone to let her know we were in town and to get directions to the restaurant where we were having lunch. No answer. I knew she was at a doctor’s appointment and I figured she couldn’t get to her phone. We kept driving along to her house. About twenty minutes later, my phone rings.

It’s Carol, telling me that she is right now in an ambulance on the way to hospital!!! Turns out that during the cat scan she was having, she started having an allergic reaction to the dye. She tells me that her front door is open and to make ourselves at home. I get off the phone with her and not a minute later, we pull over to let her ambulance go by.

We found Carol’s house and went right in. She has the cutest little house! We made ourselves at home, rifled through her drawers, opened her closets, used up all her toilet paper. We got ourselves some sandwiches from the Subway that Boo spied down the street and had lunch. We watched some TV and enjoyed a break from the car. I forgot my camera at home, so I didn’t get a chance to take pictures of us enjoying her home. I couldn’t even use her computer to tell any of our other board friends what was going on, just in case Jen was wondering what I was doing in NJ. Carol was getting released from the hospital just as we were packing up to go, so we didn’t get to see her. We had another 2 hours of driving ahead us – we needed to be in PA by 6 pm, so we figured that we could leave around 3:30 and have more than enough time. Sounds like a good plan, right?

Giving ourselves 30 extra minutes as a buffer should have been enough, except for a few things. It was a Friday. It was raining. It was a 3 day weekend. We arrived in Philadelphia at precisely 3:47 and sat in traffic. Every time we thought we were free from the traffic, the cars in front of us were slowing down again. We trudged happily along and finally got off the main highway and headed towards Jen’s tiny little town. Bip chose this moment to want to get out of his car seat. NOW! He expressed his displeasure for the entire last 40 minutes of our trip. By now it’s clear that we’re going to be late to the party. It’s just a question of how late. Are we at risk of running into Jen in the parking lot? Are we going to miss the big surprise moment completely? Hard to tell. I can’t even call anyone and ask because she might answer the phone. So here we are, crying baby who refused to nap the whole time in the car, without Carol, about to be late to the surprise party. Nobody is very happy, but we have to keep going on.

We finally arrived at 6:20, almost 3 hours after leaving Carol’s. As we’re parking the car, I hope Jen doesn’t notice our Stampin’ Up! sticker (she’s also a demonstrator), our homeschooling magnet and our DC plates. Then I see one of her daughters and her husband I figured we missed the reveal. But no! She hasn’t arrived yet! Woo hoo, we made it! We were greeted like royalty by Jen’s mother and MIL and they introduced to everyone like long-lost friends. When Jen was arriving, her MIL positioned us so we’d be among the first people she saw.

When she walked into the room Jen reacted more like, “ah, you got me!” than surprise. She was laughing at her friends and family, then turned towards us. That’s when she got really surprised. She saw us there and her face just lit up. That moment was well worth the drive. We had a good time at the rest of the party, ate way too many homemade Italian cookies (and took a plate of them home), and got a chance to talk to several of Jen’s friends and family. Her MIL tried to talk us into staying over night, but we had to get back to DC.

We drove about halfway home and stayed the night in Delaware. We arrived home around 11:00 am on Saturday, unloaded the car, stretched our legs and headed out again. This time we were only heading across the river to Alexandria. One of my oldest friends, from way back in my Civil Air Patrol cadet days, was in town for the weekend. We were meeting up with her at a local yarn store, then going to lunch. Shanti is an amazing woman. She is in the Navy and in command of her very own ship. I have great respect for all that she has done in her career and I really enjoy reading about her adventures in knitting and in the Navy. She’s inspiration for short women everywhere. After lunch, Philip took the children home and I stayed at the yarn store with Shanti and knit.

I’ve been so busy being Mom the Taxi, Mom the Teacher, and Mom the Mom, that it was nice to be Just Lorri for a few hours. Shanti helped me out with the sweater I’m knitting Bip and I told her everything I know about hermit crab care. I think I got the better end of the deal.

So now it’s only Sunday and I’ve already had a fun, full weekend. It’s not often that I get to see old friends, so I am tired, but happy.

And you’ll be glad to know that Carol is fine and her cat scan turned up nothing scary.

The Joy of Soccer

We are well into our soccer season. Boo plays for the pure enjoyment of running and kicking the ball. He tries hard and he has fun.

Last Saturday was the perfect day for soccer. It was just a tad chilly and the sky was threatening rain. We set up our camp chairs on the side of the field and settled in for a good game. Boo sat out the first quarter. When the ref blew the whistle for the second quarter, Coach Carl looked to Boo and told him he would be goalie. My heart sunk. Goalie? Boo? He is the tiniest player on his team and he had never, not once, not even in practice, played goalie. I wasn’t even sure he knew what to do. I looked at Phil and I could see by his face that he was sharing my thoughts. I voiced my concerns to the other parents there. “It’s ok, don’t worry,” they said. “Even if the other team scores, it’s ok.” Oh sure. Easy for them to say. They didn’t have to go home with a seriously downcast little boy who let the opposing team score 23 goals against him! I wondered to myself if I should say anything to the coach. “Excuse me. Coach Carl? ARE YOU INSANE?” No, I thought, I’m not going to meddle. It’s just kiddie soccer. We’re not even supposed to be keeping score (we all do anyway). Anyway, it was too late. Another dad was helping Boo don the goalie shirt, though on Boo it was a goalie dress. They even had gloves for him, which to be honest, were probably more of a hindrance.

The ref blew his whistle and so began the longest soccer quarter of my life. Poor Boo looked even smaller in a goalie shirt down to his knees, standing in this gi-normous goal. We tried to cheer him on, but his face betrayed his nerves. As the opposing team approached our goal, Boo managed to make himself look even smaller and he seemed to retreat into the goal. Kind of reminded me of our pet hermit crabs. Fortunately, the coach ran over there and gave Boo some pointers. He stepped out from the goal and seemed a little more confident. Our team was actually doing really well at keeping the ball on the other side of the field. It seemed like maybe Boo would just have to stand there during this quarter.

Then it happened, some girl from the other team broke free from our defenders and dared kick the ball at my boy! In his own words, he thought he was a “goner.” He stepped forward, then knelt down and stopped the ball! My boy! Little Boo! Stopped the other team from scoring! The sidelines erupted, “Booooooo! Boooooo!” He grew 5 inches in that moment.

He played forward for the rest of the game, and it don’t know if it was a coincedence, but he played the best game of his life. It was as if in that one stopped goal, all his confidence in his soccer abilities came to the surface. He became aggressive where he used to hang back. He kept control of the ball. He started a passing sequence that led directly to our team scoring. His fellow older, bigger team mates told him “good game.” Even the dad of the best player on our team was saying good things about Boo “just putting his head down and sticking with the ball.”

It was the best kind of day. We let Boo tell the story of his blocked goal as many times, with as many details as he wanted. He’s hoping to play goalie again. So here’s to Boo, goalie and power foward! (and a hat tip to Coach Carl, who clearly knows way more about coaching soccer than I do.)

Scouting

Today was our scouting day. Pumpkin Girl had her first Daisy Girl Scout meeting in the afternoon. I wasn’t really sure how this was going to work out. At first she wanted to be a girl scout because Boo was so excited about being a Cub Scout. So we found a Daisy troop on base and signed her up. Then we found out that parents are not allowed to stay for the meetings and she started getting anxious. I took her to the sign up day so she could meet her leader and see the room and become familiar with the set up. That seemed to help. So we went out and bought her the uniform. Well, when we got home, she decided that she didn’t like the way it looks. Ack! That girl just kills me with her clothing issues. I told her that she didn’t have to wear it, but that all the other girls would be wearing their uniforms and that she would have nothing to put her petals on when she earns them. Finally she agreed.

So off we go to Daisy Scouts today. There was a craft set out for them when we got there. Pumpkin Girl is so into crafting these days, but that’s a blog for another day. When she saw the craft, she just sat right down and barely even waved goodbye to me and the boys. When we returned to pick her up, she was all smiles and happiness. She told me she had “the best time in the whole world.”

Then this evening we had our first Pack meeting for Boo. Of course, the big storm that had been predicted, with it’s torrential downpours, strong winds and lightening chose the exact moment when I said “ok, go get your shoes on” to unleash. I think we would have stayed home if we hadn’t lived only 3 minutes away. The kids were a little scared in the car, but I kept saying, “we’ll be ok.” The rain was so strong that they couldn’t even hear me. We pulled up to the chapel and I told them I was going to drop them off at the curb, they were to run into the building and I would park the car and join them with Nicholas. They did a wonderful job of following directions. While I was parking the car, the rain started coming down even harder. I didn’t even know that was possible. I sat in the car for moment, trying to figure out how I was going to get the baby out of the car without getting soaked. I opted for jumping out of my seat and into the backseat. I loaded him up in my sling, grabbed my purse and an umbrella and made a break for it. In the seconds it took to get the umbrella up, my hair got soaked and so did Bip. The umbrella could only do so much against the deluge and my pants and sandals were soaked when I reached the building. I took Bip to the bathroom and dried his hair and face, plus my face and shoes with paper towels. There was nothing I could do about my hair. Fortunately it’s short.

The rest of the evening went better. Boo earned his Bobcat badge. I got to pin it on him. Boo then pinned on a Bobcat parent pin on me!
I’m so proud of him. He’s working hard on his badges and he takes a lot of pride in his uniform. Sadly, Phil wasn’t there, so I didn’t have anyone to take pictures. The meeting was fun, but a little long, especially when one is sitting in wet pants, with a fidgety 5 yo and a baby who keeps insisting on low crawling across the floor and pulling off his socks.

It wasn’t raining as hard when we left. It looks like the storm will bring in much colder weather. Good thing our order of Land’s End winter clothes arrived yesterday. We need the long sleeves for soccer practice tomorrow!

 

 

We’re Getting Close

Don’t look now! Christmas is only 3 months away. What have you done to prepare? Since having children, I have tried to find a balance between the “perfect” Christmas and the enjoyable Christmas. I found my holiday season becoming crazy and frustrating and the next thing I knew, it was Christmas Eve and I had not really enjoyed any of it. My husband did not grow up celebrating the usual American holidays and he had an interesting perspective on it all. He asked me what would happen if I dropped some of the things on my list.

It was an interesting question. The answer, it turns out, was “not much.” I sat down and gave it some serious thought and I discovered that for me, less is more. What I really wanted for the holidays was to enjoy the sights, sounds and smells. I wanted to enjoy good food and good company and of course, to celebrate our Savior’s birth. I think the children want the same things. So I pared everything down to the things that we would miss the most.

* Lights on the house.
* Christmas cookies.
* A tree decorated early in the season.
* Christmas music playing as often as possible.
* Christmas Eve mass.
* Tamales on Christmas Eve.
* A few gifts, not a lot, just a few.

Everything else is optional. Everything. If our family kept just to this short list, our Christmas season would be wonderful. I would certainly like to decorate my house beyond just the tree, but to be honest, sometimes that becomes stressful. So I concentrate on getting the tree up during Thanksgiving weekend. I leave the boxes of decorations out for a week. In my spare time, I go through them and put out what I can. At the end of the week, the boxes get put away. Some years we have decorated more extensively than others. And that’s ok. The most important thing for us- the tree- is done.

I had to really change my thinking for this. It was hard to just not do some things I’ve always done. At the time, Boo was our only child and was just over a year old. Philip reminded me that he didn’t really care about most of these things. I came to realize that some of our family traditions didn’t need to be given up completely. Some of them would just wait until the children were older and better able to appreciate them (and help!). And as they have gotten older, new traditions have been added. We now participate in an angel tree, trying to find children with similar ages to our children. We let them pick out the gifts for the needy children. And now that Philip is a Christian, he expressed a desire to incorporate an Advent wreath into our preparations. The children also have their favorite decorations that I make a point of putting out as soon as the tree is up.

So add Buy gifts for the Angel Tree and Advent Wreath to our list and there are only 9 must do Christmas traditions for our family. Definitely managable. Then, as time, energy and resources allow, we add other things in. Regardless, our season is peaceful and enjoyable.

If you find yourself wishing for a simpler Christmas, start by examining your “must do” list. Take the time right now, this week, while it’s still September. Ask yourself, “What will happen if we don’t do this this year?” If the answer is, “I’ll be relieved” or “No one will notice,” then that’s something that can be dropped. Maybe it’s something that could be set aside during this season of your life, to be revived at a better time. Of course, if the answer is “It wouldn’t be Christmas without it”, then by all means, make sure it happens.

Be careful of doing things that stress you out just because someone else, especially outside your family, expects you to. See what you can do to delegate some of those responsibilities or enlist as much help as possible. Not necessarily service orientated things, but stuff like hosting the family Christmas party just because you’ve done it every year. If you don’t really enjoy it, maybe it’s time your sister and brother-in-law host it.

Remember it’s not things and activities that make a good holiday. It’s family enjoying time together, doing things they care about, that matters.

Ah…Fall

I love Fall! I love everything about it: football, the colors, the crunch of leaves, the wind, the crisp, cool air, pumpkins. Being outside in the Fall invigorates me. I can breathe in deeply (not too deeply, there’s a sewage plant nearby) and feel alive. Summer on the other hand, oppresses me. It’s hot and sticky and full of bugs that bite. After taking a walk in the summer, I need a shower. After a walk in the Fall, I can have hot chocolate! Now that’s living! So I am not sad to see summer go, not at all!

I am looking forward to resuming our daily walks along the Potomac, this time with an eye towards bringing home some nature for our nature journals. Pumpkin Girl has been bringing me all sorts of things to draw. My favorite has been the tiny yellow flower from clover. I never even noticed them in the grass before. She also likes to bring me acorns from various trees. She has learned to take our field journal and correctly identify the trees in our neighborhood from their leaves.

Cooking and baking is more fun in the Fall, too. The oven warms the house nicely and fills it with delicious smells. We’ve started a home economics book recently. Boo and Pumpkin Girl have learned to peel, cut and garnish carrots and have both made the family a carrot tray for lunch. Today they took on cinnamon toast. In the next couple of weeks will be scrambled eggs and French toast. Without a book to guide me, I don’t think it would have occurred to me to teach them these skills at this age. But they are both doing well. They like learning to do things for themselves. We were reviewing the book and saw that in the sewing section was an assignment to create a family flag. They both were excited at the possibility. In fact, we’ve already designed it. I won’t spoil the surprise, but let me just say that it involves happy faces.

But I digress. I am so happy that summer is over. The first frost is not far off and it will kill off all those nasty mosquitoes. It will also kill my basil, but I had such a good crop this year that I have a ton in the freezer for the winter. Bip has been barefoot all summer, so I suppose it’s time for his first shoes. I’d better finish up the poncho I’m knitting Pumpkin Girl.

And soccer! I played soccer as a kid, so I spent a lot of time outdoors in the Fall. Now I’m on the sidelines as my oldest boy is in his third season of soccer. Hey, I’m a soccer mom! In a minivan! Looking harried as I drag camp chairs and a stroller across the grassy field! I love watching Boo play soccer. He is such a goofball! He loves soccer so much, but he’s not the most coordinated kid in the world. After watching his hysterical attempt at jumping jacks the other day, we had some remedial training at home. I coached from the couch, of course. No sense in both of us looking ridiculous. Boo was attempting make his feet go out and in while in mid-air. I managed to keep a straight face while instructing him, “Jump out, jump in, jump out, jump in.” Once we got that down, we attempted to coordinated his arm movements to his legs. Not entirely successful, but at least he looked better at the next practice. His first game is Tuesday.

Ah, Fall. I can almost taste the hot apple cider.

On Our Own

Well, Philip left for Germany today. In a rare turn of events, the disasters that normally occur on the homefront during a deployment or TDY (temporary duty) assignment actually occurred before he left. The toilet got stopped up and two of our new hermit crabs died. I’m hoping that’s it for the week and not a sign of things to come.

I had to haul all the children down to Boo’s soccer practice today. It was COLD! Pumpkin Girl complained the whole time of course. Other than that, I really enjoyed watching practice. Boo’s coach is not only an experienced youth soccer coach, but he’s a really funny guy. You can tell that he is truly enjoying himself out there on the field. He had all the parents practically in tears during one game called “ouch.” The object of the game was for the children to attempt to kick the ball at the coach and his assistants and if they hit them, the coaches yelled “ouch.” Of course, the coaches were running. Coach Carl was so funny, over-acting the whole time, looking like he was running through water, “falling” down, pretending to tie his shoes, then yelling “ouch” like he’d been shot. I really appreciate a dedicated, fun coach like that.

Pumpkin Girl has been to dance class twice now. She’s taking the whole thing very seriously. This is actually her third attempt at taking dance classes, but the times before were just too much for her. She’s definitely ready now. In her black leotard, pink tights and ballet bun, she says she is an “official ballerina.” Somehow she manages to look all grown up and so tiny all at once. I’m so proud of her for getting out there. Normally she has Boo with her to help her be brave. For a moment there at her first class, I didn’t think she was going to be able to do it. Those big brown eyes of hers were just filling with tears. I reminded her that Rebecca is always with her, which made her smile, and then she was fine. Pumpkin Girl has a natural flexibility that should serve her well as a dancer. She is the only one in her class who can lie down on her belly, put the bottoms of her feet together, and bring her knees up like a frog, all while keeping her legs touching the floor.

As for Bip, he isn’t walking or talking much. He’s babbling a lot, though, and is communicating more and more with signs. I’m hoping that Philip’s absence doesn’t upset his already touchy sleep schedule. How well our week goes depends a lot on how well the baby sleeps. If things go south, I do have a game plan. We’ll make adjustments to our school schedule, breaking things up as needed, to accommodate the baby. As a last resort, I am willing to just take a break from school and concentrate on getting Bip well rested, every one fed and the trash emptied.

Starting the Holidays With Prayer

Have you looked around the stores lately?  The holidays are just around the corner!  I’m sure you’ve seen the signs.  I’ve been seeing Halloween candy for sale since August.  Even the Christmas decorations are creeping in.  In a few short weeks, most of us will either be deep in Holiday Denial or in a panic that we won’t be able to get it all done.  I’m like most of you in that I struggle to find a nice balance between achieving the "perfect" holidays and still being able to actually enjoy them myself.  Over the next few weeks, I think I’ll share some of the ways that I have learned to take back the holidays. This has been on my mind to do for a couple of weeks now and so it was very timely that today I received an email from my friend Elizabeth.  She wrote an article for Catholic Online about preparing for the holidays by spending time in prayer and meditation.  In the article, she talks about starting the holiday season by focusing not on ourselves and our endless "to do" lists, but instead, on turning our thoughts and prayers outward.  What an excellent idea! Please go read her article, even if you’re not Catholic!  Good things  are bound to happen when we, as Christians of any denomination, join together in prayer.

Fall is In the Air

Fall is in the air and I have a new look for my blog.  If you’re reading this through a feed or through your "friends" page, stop by my actual blog to check it out.

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