Seven

Seven years ago I was pregnant. During that Advent season I was waiting not just for Christmas, but for the birth of my own baby. I wanted more than anything for the baby to come before Christmas so that I could be home on Christmas morning with my other children.

In my own head, December 21st was a good day. The Winter Solstice. Baby and I could be home well before Christmas.

So all that weekend I walked. Walked our neighborhood, one foot on the curb, the other in the street, trying to get labor going. I walked the halls of the hospital after my appointment. I walked all over the PX. Phil followed me the whole time.

Nothing.

So Monday, December 22 dawned crisp and cold, without any sign of labor. I snuggled deep into the blankets as Phil got ready for work. I heard him leave the house and then POP! My water broke!

I rushed – as best as a very pregnant woman can rush- down the stairs and out the front door to call him back. I caught him just in time. We got ready to go, bid Boo and Pumpkin Girl farewell and went off to have a baby.

At the hospital we waited and waited, with nary a contraction. Eventually our baby did arrive – our sweet little Rebecca!

It was a very good day.

As it turns out, Winter Solstice was December 22 that year – I’d gotten my wish. And Becca and I came home on Christmas Eve.

For all the pain of losing Rebecca, God showed so much mercy. The first was that she came before Christmas, the only Christmas we shared with her. I’m glad we had that time with her.

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Candy Cane Cookies

I have enjoyed these holiday cookies for as long as I can remember, which makes the recipe at least 35 years old. They are a favorite of my children, too. If I could only make one Christmas cookie, this would be it.

    Candy Cane Cookies

1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup shortening
1 cup powdered sugar
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp peppermint extract
2 1/2 cup flour
red food coloring

Beat butter, shortening and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in egg, vanilla and peppermint extract. Add flour.   Divide dough in half, color one half red. Wrap each half in wax paper and chill at least one hour. Form into balls. Roll a white ball and a red ball together to form one stick with the red and white entwined.* Place on a greased baking sheet, turning one end of the sticks to form a cane. Bake at 375 degrees for 12 minutes or until golden brown.

Serve with eggnog.

Just kidding about the eggnog. Sort of.

*This is my personal candy cane forming technique, developed over years of practice. You might find it easier at first to roll the balls into logs, then twist them together. It takes the perfect touch to roll two balls together to form a twisted log without smashing them together into a mess.

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Gee, thanks

Boo was a little angry with me over a school issue. A little while later I headed upstairs to nurse the baby and I asked Boo if he would make me a sandwich for lunch. He said yes, but rather grudgingly.

He brought me this.

Barely enough peanut butter to cover the bread and he clearly just plopped some jelly on without spreading it out.

A side view, to get the full effect of the blob of jelly.

Adolescence has clearly set in. Let the games begin!

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Candle Lighting 2010

Tonight – Sunday, December 12 – is the annual Candle Lighting for children who have died.

At 7 PM in whatever time zone you are, light a candle for those children who have died, so that their light may always shine. As people around the world light a candle, a continuous wave of light is created for 24 hours. We usually place our candle next to a picture of Becca and say a prayer for all the other parents grieving for a child, especially those who do not have a faith to rely on.

This candle lighting is to honor and remember all children of any age, pre-born to adult. I will be praying especially for my real life and online friends who in recent days have been mourning babies they never got to meet on earth. Where there is love and loss, there is grief. (I feel a little awkward linking to their blogs as if to say, hey go gawk at their pain, but Charlotte and Sarah – I’m praying for you.)

Also, for today only, you may go to the Compassionate Friends website (click the graphic at the end of this post or the one in my sidebar) and leave a message of love in the Remembrance Book.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4

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Baby Thoughts 1.0

Ah, the joy of sleepless nights!

Why don’t babies tell us what is wrong? Seriously, if they would just tell us what they need we’d get it for them. Of course, we all know that babies communicate by crying, but that is so last century! While the rest of us are busy emailing, texting, twittering (twitting?) and Skyping, those cute little babies are still relying on millenia old technology.

So you know what I was thinking? They need little emoticons that appear over their heads to tell us what’s on their mind. A diaper means “change me.” A bottle for “feed me”, a heart means “hold me.” Bubbles could indicate gas, and z’s let us know that they are sleepy.


Wouldn’t that be great? The software, which I’ve named Baby Thoughts 1.0, would wear off by age 2. We wouldn’t really want to know the thoughts of anyone older than that, would we?

My only obstacle at this point – how to install the software? Alas.

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Advent Upon Us

So here we are, on the brink of Advent. This year I’m going to keep it simple, focus on the traditions that are most meaningful to our family and focus on the what Advent is all about.

I say the same thing every year. How about you? I mean it this time. Really.

This year I’m going to try to go easy on myself. I’ve got most of my shopping done and I plan to be finished by the end of the week. Instead of trying to get all the decorating done this weekend, I’m going to pace myself and do it little by little. I think I’ll let the children help, too. They’ll enjoy that. Most of what I put out is mostly for their enjoyment anyway.

I found a good devotional for children called My Little Advent. It is for children K-2nd grade, which is perfect for Bip. But I think that my 4th and 6th graders will be able to get something meaningful from it, too. Couldn’t we all use a reminder to keep a smile on our face while thinking of the happiness of others above ourselves?

I’ve finally figured out a way to do our Jesse Tree and stick to it this year! Remember long, long ago when I hosted a Jesse Tree craft swap? Well, I hate to admit it, but we’ve never actually seen the Jesse Tree through to Christmas. I think it is because the readings, prayers and reflections that accompany each ornament were too long. This year I got the idea from someone else’s blog (sorry, I can’t remember who) to read from a children’s bible story book instead of from the Bible. I think that will be much more manageable.

Will you be making any changes this year to help your Advent be less stressful and more meaningful? What have you let go of over the years, or added, that has made a difference?

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Thankful

I haven’t been completely forthcoming about recent events around here. I know I’m not obligated to write about every little thing that goes on, but still – what’s the point of having a blog if you’re not going to write stuff.

Our new baby, Pipsqueak – that’s his blog name until something else fits him better – was born with an ear tag. It’s just a cosmetic thing, a little tag of skin located near his ear. His doctor tied it off and it has dried up and we’re just waiting for it to fall off, like his umbilical cord. Once it’s gone, you’ll never know it was there.

The thing is, a good percentage of babies born with an ear tag also have some sort of kidney problem. Now that doesn’t seem to make sense does it? Turns out, ears and kidneys develop at the same time in the womb.

Both our midwife and Pipsqueak’s doc made mention of the potential for kidney problems, but neither were overly concerned or indicated that it was urgent. The doc ordered an ultrasound so we could take a look.

So last week I bundled Pipsqueak up and we went off for the ultrasound. The whole procedure took about 20 minutes and little PS was more insulted by the interruption of his nap than anything else. I was told I’d hear from the doctor on Monday.

Monday rolled around and the hours ticked by. I tried not to notice. Finally the call came – ultrasound is negative, everything is OK.

I quickly called my husband at work and gave him the good news. As I was talking I started to get choked up and I realized then just how much the whole thing had been weighing on me. I was trying not to worry, but really, how can you not? What a relief to know that Pipsqueak’s kidneys are healthy and perfect. Especially because Rebecca’s kidneys were damaged from VUR that had been occurring in utero.

So this year, I am thankful not just for the addition of little Pipsqueak to our family, but for his good health.

May YOU be blessed with family, friends and good health this Thanksgiving.

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Choose Yer Poison

The other day, I was reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban to my oldest children. In order to readjust the nursing baby, I paused near the beginning of the chapter called “The Dementor”.

“Ooo, Denominator,” said Boo. “I saw those in a Lego Harry Potter set in the Lego catalog!”

“Dementor, Boo. Denominator is a math term,” I replied.

“Yeah, well, I’m scared of that, too.”

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